“It’s okay not to be okay”

What’s up ya’ll?   There is a lot going on, on this planet called earth.  Enough to make you want to going around and slap the shit out of some people.  We can’t do that BUT…we are going to get through this!  I am trying to stay as positive as possible during the trying times, so I wanted to make sure ya’ll were doing the same.  During all of this we have to remember to take care of self. Self care is the most important thing EVER!  PERIODT!! If you don’t take care of self it becomes hard to try to  care of or be there for anyone else.  I know a lot of times we find a way to make it happen but we have to do better with taking care of self and not feeling guilty about it. 

As parents, spouses, whatever there are times we have nothing to give.  We are fighting some of the biggest battles on the inside but we still manage to do what needs to be done for those we love, all while your tank is on “E”.  That’s great that we are able to do that sometimes but it’s not healthy.  For me it’s not.  I remember my first experience with depression (well the first time I accepted it).  My son was about 2 or 3 and it was a lot going on with me and his dad and then there was life in general.  My son was literally the ONLY thing that kept me going.  I got up everyday and went to work, I was in school full time, and dealing with bullshit but couldn’t stop or slip up because my baby needed me. It never registered in my mind that I NEEDED ME TOO! I would have mini- breakdowns in the bathroom, shower, closet, car, anywhere when I had a moment alone.  I made it work for me because I felt that was my only choice.  

This went on for years.  I suppressed and kept moving.  It was a few years later I was listening to a Jessie J song “Who You Are” and I heard her say “…it’s okay not to be okay…”.  That broke me down!  I had never heard of that concept before or even knew that was an option.  My mom was a strong black woman. She taught us how to survive.  No matter what happens you will get through it and be fine.  But she forgot to mention “it’s okay not to be okay” if only for a moment.  I wasn’t aware I could be vulnerable, and “not okay” sometimes and still be strong. I wasn’t aware that it was okay to let someone you trust know you are not okay.  It’s okay to say “hey, I’m struggling can you help me”.  (BUT be careful with that, though.  You ask for help or open up to someone and that shit back fires.  But that’s fine…learn from your mistake and keep moving.) Anywho, back to what I was saying LOL….We have to take time for self. It’s always okay to take a minute to feel what you are feeling.  It’s okay to not be be okay but don’t get stuck there.  Take some time, feel, process, then you got to get moving again.  We got a lot going on right now…pandemic, 45, race wars, riots, protest, people doing and saying stupid shit, people you thought you knew showing you who they really are, weight gain (maybe that’s just me LOL), then all the shit you were dealing before all of this happened…it’s a lot and it can become very overwhelming!   Enough to drive you crazy! TRUST ME…you are not alone!  Below I have listed a few things to try to help ya’ll out.  Try some, all or add to the list in the comments.

ME TIME…

Walking/Jogging/Running – I prefer no music most times. Ya’ll know I love nature, so I like to listen to nature and just clear my mind. 

Pray/Medication – Pray….then sit, quiet your mind and listen.  That feeling is AMAZING!!!

Bath – Take a long bath.  Sit in the tub while the water runs out and imagine all the bullshit going down the drain.

Reading – Read something entertaining or inspiring.  I love all books by Osho and Don Miguel Ruiz…just a suggestion.

TV – Binge watch something.  Its okay to take a few hours or a day and binge watch a show.  Escape reality for a while. But NO NEWS!!!!! Take some time away from the news!

Painting/Drawing – I haven’t done this yet but it’s been crossing my mind a lot lately.  I’m not an artist but I feel like I could create some dope work!  Give me a brush and some wine…I might be Basquiat in the bitch!!! LOL!

Writing/Journaling – Write it out!  You would be amazed at how you feel after journaling.  You can get everything out no interruptions or opinions…just you fulling expressing yourself.

Gardening – I haven’t tried this either but a friend of mine has and it seems very fulfilling and very calming.  I gotta get me a tomato or something going!

Say “NO” – this is my favorite!  If you don’t want to (whatever it is) you don’t have to and you don’t have to explain why.  No! The End.

Try something new – Just do something.  When that feeling starts to overwhelm you…MOVE!  

I love ya’ll. In the voice and words of Kendrick Lamar “We gon’ be alright!”  Go be great on purpose!

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